This British guy named Marvin sat reloading software on his computer- it took hours and he rolled his chair about the little grey room, fluorescent lights flickering. Occasionally he hit “okay” and checked agreement checkboxes on various menus that popped up. He lifted his baseball hat, rubbed his scalp, and returned the hat to his head. Then the wall exploded inward and a behemoth came crashing to the floor, chunks of drywall flying everywhere. Marvin looked up, wiping plaster dust from his eyes. The behemoth lay twitching amid the debris, red eyes glaring. A girl came strutting through the huge hole in the wall, metallic, multi-colored outfit gleaming. She stabbed the ogre with her high heel, piercing his shoulder but drawing no blood from his stony flesh. Marvin gaped. The behemoth struggled to his knees, then collapsed again with a heavy thud, causing the building to shake. The girl laughed a strange baby laugh. Marvin robotically hit “okay” on his screen. The girl spun to face him. “What did you just do?” she asked, in a hoarse whisper. Marvin shook his head. “N-nothing…” he stammered.

The girl lunged towards him and smashed the computer off Marvin’s desk with a swipe of her hand. Marvin stared after the tumbling, destroyed plastic, the broken motherboard hanging out. He could only hold his head in his hands. The girl stepped over and grabbed his wrists. “You didn’t think I’d let you get away with that, did you?” she said. Just then the behemoth lurched over and grabbed the girl’s ankle, pulling her down. She leapt onto him and they crashed around, destroying everything in the small office. Marvin watched, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. Then, as the two rolled around on the floor, both attempting to simultaneously strangle the other one, Marvin sprang up and lifted the mini-fridge. He hurled it down onto their heads, the fridge opening and the contents exploding into the room: jars of Marmite and bottles of mead shattering. The two released their deadly grasp on each other and turned toward Marvin. As they came at him he kicked and punched, imitating martial artists he’d seen in movies. The behemoth picked him up effortlessly and hurled him crashing through the mini-blinds out the window. He landed on the lawn outside and took off running.

The behemoth and the girl came smashing out after him but he jumped into his Camry and peeled out of the parking lot, driving and driving in a state of shock, not stopping until he was miles away and had to get gas. He began fueling but could hear the distant sound of the behemoth’s footsteps getting closer and closer, the earth trembling slightly from the weight of each of the stocky ogre’s steps. Marvin rushed to hide in the foul-smelling bathroom. It wasn’t long before there were sounds of destruction right outside. Hearing screams and crashes, Marvin waited, sweating, his face pale with fear.

Eventually the crashing stopped and there was a strange quiet. Marvin stayed in the bathroom for a good twenty minutes. Then he stepped out and beheld the devastation. The front part of the gas station was leveled and gasoline sprayed like a geyser into the sky. There was a giant crater with the two warriors locked in a death-embrace at the bottom, both having finally throttled the life out of the other. Marvin turned to the dumbfounded gas station attendant. The attendant threw him a beer and they both drank thirstily, taking in the destruction, the alcohol doing nothing to calm their nerves.

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