Still Not Happy

TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF MY HUSBAND OR I’LL SHOOT! was a popular board game in the ‘40’s and ‘50’s. Malks walked past the store window displaying the game and its explicit (for its time) pieces, and headed instead to the massage parlor next door. Lying on the massage table he turned back to see if the girl was coming (she was taking her sweet time) and he saw a roach on the wall, burying its head in a crack, in apparent shame.

When the massage was over Malks was back out in the park feeding pigeons. They weren’t very hungry today though and he made himself get up and head to the movies: a black and white matinee titled, Thsyst Makneerz Knockorem which turned out to be a kind of erotic puppet show involving peasant girls with heaving wooden bosoms.

Walking back to his car Malks stopped. There was a beautiful girl, wearing nothing more than a yellow raincoat, galoshes, and a yellow rain hat, sitting on the hood of his car. You need to wax this thing, she said. It’s a little matte. Malks stared at her. They both got into the car and soon were kissing at a stoplight. You better start going, she said. The light just changed.

He accelerated, but didn’t get very far before they were kissing again. When the rain picked up they were out in it, leaving the car behind in a ditch. An alarm went off on Malk’s phone but he didn’t heed its important vibrations. He was too busy.

The sun set and it was still raining on their embrace.

When the moon rose they were still necking.

Finally at sunrise they got back in the car and drove to a place where they could sleep it off. Turned out to be her place. Quilts and macramé. But a welcome cup of hot tea. Malks relaxed. For the first time since the stock market crash. Which hadn’t affected him other than making him a little tense.

The girl stripped off her rain gear. Morning sun made her look exceedingly three dimensional. They shared a wry smile. They made love then went back outside. Where it was raining again.

Malk’s wife appeared with a gun, which made him remember the board game in the window display. She opened fire but they were too fast for her and took off into the night.

She came back later though and got them. She couldn’t really tell if she was happier after all the screaming and gunfire. She wiped her bloody hand on the plastic seat in the back of the cab. Central Park went by out the window. All kinds of people from all different backgrounds coming and going. She had the cab stop and went out into the throng in a better mood but still not “happy”.



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