Ten crabs crawling sideways to the tune of “Marker’s Melody.” They each have little top hats on, little canes…

Do they have those little tap shoes?

Yes, they do. In fact they’re tapping away as they crawl. The curtains are starting to close. But then they open again and the little crab pops out and takes a bow.

Are the crabs at least a different color from the curtains? Otherwise it’s red on red.

Yes, the crabs are blue-green.

Oh. Is the audience applauding?

They are barking away and clapping their fins. The audience is all porpoises.

Porpoises don’t bark! They’re not seals!

These ones bark. They’re dripping wet all over the theater seats, curled in uncomfortable positions. They bark like mad at this little crab, who is quite the ham. Finally the curtains close for good and the lights come back on. The porpoises slither up the aisles and slip out the front door back into the ocean.

What happened to the crabs?

They’re back on their tour bus heading to another city.

Why don’t they just go back into the ocean too?

They don’t have time. Now the theater is empty except for a skinny cuscus janitor with a broom.

A cuscus?

It’s like a possum. They have them in Australia. He sweeps up the place and then his sister picks him up. She shares a takeaway falafel and then they drive home.

Where does he live?

Oxford. His father works in the science department. So the theater is empty now except for the ants.


Yes, they eat the popcorn. But there’s one bad ant who’s a pyromaniac.

Oh, no!

Yeah, and he burns the whole theater down. Sorry.


Did the whole ant family die?

Yeah, pretty much. They either died or got severely burned.

Leave the poor ants alone!

They should have done something about the bad ant before it was too late!

What should they have done?

Sent him on his way. Which is what the survivors did after the fire.

Where did they send him?

Catalina Island. He went on a long journey where eventually he learned to care for others.

Is that how it ends?




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